Monday, June 18, 2012

Improvised Zombie Weapons

When I was a museum security guard, I had a lot of time to think about stuff. To break the boredom, I would play mental games like "If There Was A Zombie Outbreak Right Now, What Would I Do?". Then I would start looking for things I could use as a weapon and a way out. Along with that game, I would play "Zombie Or Survivor?". In that game, I would just watch people and try to determine which way they would go. That would increase my odds of survival.

With all that in mind, I was looking around the house and found a few items that might prove themselves useful against a sudden flare-up of the undead.


At 14 inches long and seven and a half pounds, this thing is a skull-crusher deluxe. I put both collars on one end and added a 2.5 pound weight. The collars by themselves would mess something up, but the extra weight makes this a real face-hammer.The threaded end provides for a sure grip and it can easily be weilded with two hands. Weightlifting equipment is a great defense option if there's not much else around.


The Folding Entrenching Tool or E-Tool has long been an important part of the soldier's individual equipment. Overall, it is about 24 inches long and weighs around 2 pounds. It can be used fully open for digging or chopping, or with the blade at a roughly 90 degree angle like a hoe. It folds up compactly and fits easily into a backpack or it can be attached to the outside, or to a belt, with a G.I. or aftermarket carrier. One side is serrated and can cleanly sever a zombie's head. Everyone should have at least one of these; kept in your car or your Bug-Out-Bag or wherever it's easy to access. They can be found at most military surplus stores and eBay.


I found this little gem at a garage sale several years ago. Its uses are similar to that of a crowbar, but it's not as sturdy. It's 36 inches long and weighs around three pounds. The pointy end could be used for a cranium stab and the hook would keep it from over-penetrating. It could be used as a climbing aid or to retrieve dropped items. Its length is a bit of a penalty, though. It is difficult to carry compactly and it could get snagged on something or grabbed by a zombie.


If I were faced with a sudden outbreak and I could have only one weapopn/tool, it would be a 24 inch crowbar. It is the single most useful item I could find. Simple and nearly indestructable, the crowbar can inflict a lot of damage. It can be used in many ways such as, prying, digging, pounding, smashing, reaching or pulling nails. It can be used to open doors, "break and rake" windows or smash a zombie's face. I won't leave my house without my crowbar.
The business end of a 24" crowbar.

A 12 inch crowbar is also very handy. I keep one on my backpack.

This is a few of the many items one may find around the house. Except for the crowbars, I shied away from the toolbox for this post. 3 and 4 pound hammers will thump a zombie, but they're not good for much else.

All the props above are made by me. The skull is a Budget Bucky skull.

Semper Paratus

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